typical me

Great just when everything goes right i go and muck it up by being a stupid idiotic depressive arsehole
I just dont know why i even bother i dont know why SJ wants me i put her through hell
and she deserves so much better then me

I dont know how im even getting through my exam i just feeel like my life is tumbleing around me but i just feel bad about SJ because shes proberly feeling really bad now but she keeps it all in so as not to upset others and i know im an idiot for hurting her yet again

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EAol6Ej07X4
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UUH86YUpKYU

Failure

Ive done it again as useal we go well and then i mess up somtimes i just wish my sister had left me in that fire it would make everyones lives so much easier
I love her but she doesnt deserve this and i dont deserver her im just a dick and a failure 
I just wish i could do somthing right for once with my track record of failures i see me failing my exams

thats all :/

Pain

I really just cant stop all this pain erupting over my body i keep passing out
I just wish i was with SJ in her arms it would make everything so much easier and mangeable
I really love her and i cant wait to be with her
Were really good again and im just hoping i dont screw it up again
I really cant wait to get back to my sport but im in know state right now
And i might have brain damage but the doctors said it will be obvs in the next week so fun fun GCSES :/
I start next monday with my English Language part 1 and hour forty minutes of english

I love you babe
xxxxxxxxxxxx

good again

Me and SJ are good again we are sorting our problems out and i think shes happy now :)
I went for a picnic with mates today and then went to the cinema to watch Fast and Furious 5
I then ended up in hospital for the second time this weekend but this time to visit a friend whos
got bad burns and is on a life support machine i really hope he recovers but the doctors arent hopeful

I really really love you SJ and i always will im never leaving you because you mean the world to me
And i hope one day i can marry you and have a family because you make me so happy

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Idiot

Just as we start going good again i make another mistake
I keep letting Elliot cause problems between us hes coming between us
And all the problems over the past few days have been my fault
Ive messed up and i know it i just dont know how to stop crying now
All i do in life is cause the people closest to me to leave me
I cant lose another importent person from my life
But i feel as if i will expecially if i carry on like this
I need to treat her better
Im sorry SJ

I Love you xxxxxxxxxxxxxx

New blog New path

I got bored of my old blog so i decided to write a new one
I have alot to write about firstly the good i had an amazing easter with SJ and enjoyed spending time with her
I have a trial for a new team on the first game of next season
My voice is coming back

Now the bad
I lost my cup final but hardly any of my team turned up so the 13-12 score line was good
My exams i really close now and im really stressing out everyone tells me i will do great but im worried
I had to go to A&E last night because i fell down some stairs at the cinema and cut my head open

Now the really really bad
Ive upset SJ so so much more then she will let in and i realise elliot is right
Im a dick, a bad boyfriend and dont deserve her i always hurt her
And everything that goes wrong in our realtionship is my fault and
Ill be lucky if SJ doesnt dump me and forgives me


I just hope the future gets better
And i get through my exams
And that me and SJ last

Thats all from me
I love you SJ xxxx