i knew it would be hard but not this hard

I knew that regaining SJs trust and proving that I deserved her would be hard but its so much harder then I even imagined I dont even know where to begin I'm being 100% honest with her but I always am and I dont know what else I can do but I just wish she didnt think I was going to let her down she seems to think that just because its hard I'm going to run away from it all when I'm seriously not I actully couldnt imagine my life without her but I'm still worried about losing her at the moment

I had the biggest football trial of my life today and I screwed it up. I couldnt focus all I could think about was how to sort things our with SJ and nothing I tried went right and I even injured my ankle so I had to come home early these things happen I guess but they always seem to happen to me I just cant focus on any off my sport I got told off in swimming because I couldnt concentrate and I just wish everything would just fall in to place

Thats me done
I love you SJ

new future

I dont know what to do ive lost the only person i want to be with and the only person ive truely wanted to be with xx
I know im never going to get her back and im not sure about anything anymore xxxx
The only thing i know is that i cant do anything that will remind me of her so thats the end of my football the end of my skype a complete change in fashion a complete new blog which ill put a link to next time round and a complete new facebook
Ill need new passwords and a new youtube
Ive never been in more pain i have lost the will to eat sleep or live and now im getting dragged out cause im not being trusted alone

long time

Its been along time since ive written my blog because not much has bee happening
Yesturday was abit of an off day i upset SJ and have never been more scared of losing her
Today were back to normal i really hope i can see her this summer and that shes free to come on our canal tour

perfect girlfriend

I am seriously happy right now ive got SJ my perfect girlfriend xxxxxxxxxxxxxx
and i really really love her i cant wait to see her xxxxxxxxxxxx