typical me

Great just when everything goes right i go and muck it up by being a stupid idiotic depressive arsehole
I just dont know why i even bother i dont know why SJ wants me i put her through hell
and she deserves so much better then me

I dont know how im even getting through my exam i just feeel like my life is tumbleing around me but i just feel bad about SJ because shes proberly feeling really bad now but she keeps it all in so as not to upset others and i know im an idiot for hurting her yet again

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EAol6Ej07X4
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UUH86YUpKYU

back to it

My leg is now fully better so i can get back into footy for our last two games this season and try and score over 7 goals to win us the cup

Me and SJ are amazing now and our future will be perfect
I love her so so much and i never want to be with anyone else

I rang my first quarter peal and i feel so proud of myself
Hopefully it will be the first of many and hopfully it will get easier

Skype

Today i got skype and its really good for a webcam chat with SJ and we can actully do video calls if we want now
I really really love her and we meant to be together
Were really getting better now were going really good and i cant wait for our future together
I cant wait to see her to be able to cuddle up and kiss her
I start my exams monday and im feeling quietly confident

I love you babe

Failure

Ive done it again as useal we go well and then i mess up somtimes i just wish my sister had left me in that fire it would make everyones lives so much easier
I love her but she doesnt deserve this and i dont deserver her im just a dick and a failure 
I just wish i could do somthing right for once with my track record of failures i see me failing my exams

thats all :/

good day

I had a really good day today we had a really good laugh at lunch watching adam try to do press ups
I really really love SJ and i miss her but ill be with her soon
We are really good now and im so happy
Shes perfect and all ive ever wanted

Not much else to say except im completely better now


I love you babe

reasurrence

My girlfriend is so so perfect and i really really can think of nothing better then spending the rest of my life with her. I really really love her and i just hope i can reasure her that she wont lose me and has no reason to be jealous, But it is reasonable for her to have doubts as i live so far away so i understand.

My health is on the up and im feeling confident about my exams now. I really cant wait to see SJ it will be amazing and perfect to spend time with her again and to be able to hug and kiss her

short post because im really tired

I love you my perfect princess
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Pain

I really just cant stop all this pain erupting over my body i keep passing out
I just wish i was with SJ in her arms it would make everything so much easier and mangeable
I really love her and i cant wait to be with her
Were really good again and im just hoping i dont screw it up again
I really cant wait to get back to my sport but im in know state right now
And i might have brain damage but the doctors said it will be obvs in the next week so fun fun GCSES :/
I start next monday with my English Language part 1 and hour forty minutes of english

I love you babe
xxxxxxxxxxxx

good again

Me and SJ are good again we are sorting our problems out and i think shes happy now :)
I went for a picnic with mates today and then went to the cinema to watch Fast and Furious 5
I then ended up in hospital for the second time this weekend but this time to visit a friend whos
got bad burns and is on a life support machine i really hope he recovers but the doctors arent hopeful

I really really love you SJ and i always will im never leaving you because you mean the world to me
And i hope one day i can marry you and have a family because you make me so happy

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Idiot

Just as we start going good again i make another mistake
I keep letting Elliot cause problems between us hes coming between us
And all the problems over the past few days have been my fault
Ive messed up and i know it i just dont know how to stop crying now
All i do in life is cause the people closest to me to leave me
I cant lose another importent person from my life
But i feel as if i will expecially if i carry on like this
I need to treat her better
Im sorry SJ

I Love you xxxxxxxxxxxxxx

New blog New path

I got bored of my old blog so i decided to write a new one
I have alot to write about firstly the good i had an amazing easter with SJ and enjoyed spending time with her
I have a trial for a new team on the first game of next season
My voice is coming back

Now the bad
I lost my cup final but hardly any of my team turned up so the 13-12 score line was good
My exams i really close now and im really stressing out everyone tells me i will do great but im worried
I had to go to A&E last night because i fell down some stairs at the cinema and cut my head open

Now the really really bad
Ive upset SJ so so much more then she will let in and i realise elliot is right
Im a dick, a bad boyfriend and dont deserve her i always hurt her
And everything that goes wrong in our realtionship is my fault and
Ill be lucky if SJ doesnt dump me and forgives me


I just hope the future gets better
And i get through my exams
And that me and SJ last

Thats all from me
I love you SJ xxxx